My mother is a tightwad. Growing up it would occasionally drive me crazy. Now, as an adult with my own financial goals and my own set of bills, that I have still been unable to find someone to cover for me, I have adopted some of those same behaviors. Earlier this year, I started planning a trip to NYC for J and I and quickly abandoned it (not forever) because I wasn't mentally prepared to give away so much of our hard earned money. At the same time that I made that decision I'm thinking things like, "You only live once!", "You can't be buried with your money.", and "Carpe Diem!!". Nonetheless, my frugality got the best of me and I chose no at least for now.
A a few weeks ago J returned from a trip to Florida with a friend and while there he decided that we need to get a kayak or canoe. At first I see dollar signs. I don't state any objection but rather ask if he has looked at any or knows the price range. He begins his research and I begin to think. Inevitably, J convinces himself we don't need a kayak and I react completely opposite to how I expect to act. I take us to a couple of shops to just "look" at kayaks for fun knowing that if Justin really wanted one but was just refraining from getting one to save money that seeing them would bring him back around to purchasing one. That day we picked our kayak and accessories and I went back two days later and purchased it. The whole purchase cost us a sizable amount of money. My response, both internal and external, was pure excitement and joy! I kept looking for the stress of parting with that much money to creep in or the regret to poke its head around the corner but it never did. This was truly remarkable for me.
I thought about this reaction for several days trying to figure out what it was about the purchase that left me feeling stress- free and excited whereas spending that money on a vacation choked me with stress. The kayak, I realized, is an avenue for many memory creating opportunities and quality time spent together in nature for Justin and I. Additionally, he can take it out alone, a perk of the kayak we chose, or he can take other friends out. Thus, creating other fun memories. I think this is why it never once stressed me to drop all of that money. The kayak will provide us with so much more than a one time vacation would and for many, many years. The other neat thing about the kayak is that it's
our thing. Our friends aren't necessarily looking to purchase a kayak and come along with us. This was a present to ourselves as a couple to enjoy together. In fact, we purchased it as our present to each other for our second wedding anniversary which passed last week. This actually started a new tradition for us. For future anniversaries instead of purchasing presents for each other we are going to get something for "us" as a couple since that's what we are celebrating anyway!
Its nice to know that my ingrained frugality can take a break when it truly deserves to...another quality of my mother. The USS Lily Pad embarked on its maiden voyage two weeks ago and will hopefully have many more fruitful trips over the years!
